Fangdango!
by Vintage Sniper
Summary: When Tsuraya and Misao meet up with each other, chaos is sure to ensue. And Patty is looking forward to visiting her uncle with some friends this time *that will be another story*, and Kagami gets irate, AGAIN! Then things start to get alot more Heavy Metal and 90s Grunge, Remove Kebab and Serbia, in one epic party!
1. Chapter 1

Misao Kusakabe is not your ordinary Japanese High School girl. Oh no...she is just always up to something, or lazing on her arse when it comes to studies which she utmost hates. But things were going to turn around as another girl from another high school in Japan with quite a bit in common with Misao was going to visit. Yes, enter Tsuraya! *clicks finger*

Misao had had a pretty exhausting day at School, but watching Kagami throwing a hissy fit in front of everyone in the afternoon lessons was practically amusing. Misao went home laughing.

"Ha ha! Kagamin went all Red in the face!" She chortled as she skipped home. Then she passed Konata with Kagami.

"Heyo! Chibikko! How is your friend now?" She asked, somewhat impertinently.

"Hey Misakichi! Yeah, Kagamin's alright, she just needed a glass of water" came Konata's reply.

"Do you really think so?!" Snarled Kagami at Konata "What the fuck, Misao?!"

"Hi Kagami, feeling better?" Replied Misao, again, somewhat impertinently.

"Oh, everything is all right with her don't worry" blurted out Konata.

"STOP TRYING TO PATRONIZE ME OR I KICK YOUR BLOODY ARSE!" Kagami snarled back.

Misao just laughed.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, AND TAKE THAT TURD ON YOUR HEAD WITH YOU!" Kagami snapped.

Misao skipped away chortling.

"A bit too much adrenaline eh Kagami?" said Konata.

"BOLLOCKS!" roared irate Kagami.

"I predict a hissy fit, I predict a Kagami hissy fit!" sang Misao, to the same tune as the Kaiser Chiefs' song of a similar name.

Misao finally got back to her place, where she saw a figure at her doorstep. Misao stopped in suprise. "Who is that?" She asked "I'm sure I've seen her before"

Misao veered cautiously towards the door.

"Hello?" She asked the figure "I'm sure I saw you before, what is your name?"

The figure let out a loud reply "YO SUP MISAO! REMEMBER ME, TSURAYA-SENPAI?"

Misao shuddered "Tsuraya?! It's you, what are ya doin' here?"

Tsuraya giggled "Eh, meh, though I'd pop over for a few days, how are ya doin' Misao?"

Misao replied "Heh, I am cool senpai! I think I remember you"

Tsuraya excited replied "Yeah, I do!"

"By the way, where is Haruhi and all the gang?" asked Misao

"Meh" blurted Tsuraya "They could not be arsed to come down with me, but Kimdori said she might pop over depending how she feels, as she's down with a cold, poor soul, so there ya go"

"Oh colds are nasty as fuck!" Shuddered Misao "I hope she's getting better"

"Eh, she'll be fine, it's just a cold, doesn't do you much damage" chortled Tsuraya "There is worse things going around, like Ebola"

"DON'T MENTION EBOLA!" Snapped Misao "THIS IS NOT WEST AFRICA!"

"Oh" Tsuraya mumbled "Sorry about that"

The two of them went inside, and went into the direction of Misao's gaming console. Tsuraya chortled to herself "This is gonna be a real Fangdango!"

"A what?" Puzzled Misao "What did ya say Tsuraya senpai?"

"A REAL FANGDANGO!" Replied Tsuraya loudly "WE BOTH HAVE FANGS!"

"Yeah!" Came Misao's reply "Giovanni Magnifico!"

"Giovanni Magnifico?" laughed Tsuraya "Oh mamma mia! Lorenzo Fantastico, that should be you!"

The pair of them settled into the games, adopting their respectable Italian nicknames as their player names.

But Misao had forgotten naïvely how bad she was a these games, and on 99/100 occasions, Tsuraya kept beating her. Tsuraya began to laugh "ARE YOU EVEN TRYING!" 

Misao sourly replied "Yes...but I am not good at video games as much as I like playing them"

"Awww...Misao" Giggled Tsuraya "You try though!"

Then Misao's phone rang. She answered it. "Yo! Chibikko!" It was Konata.

"Misakichi!" Said Konata over the phone "How are ya goin'. Sorry about Kagamin"

"Awesome, I even have a friend with me!" replied Misao "I have Tsuraya senpai round to visit"

Konata's heart shuddered. "Tsuraya? From Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu?"

"Yep!" Resoponeded Misao "This is a Fangdango!"

"Yep, I can hear her laughing over the phone" Responded Konata "A Fangdango you say Misakichi?"

"YEAH!" responded Misao "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cya later Chibikko!" then Misao hung up, only to get another call from Patty Martin.

"Arse" mumbled Misao under her breath.

"Hey yo Misao" Said Patricia excitedly "I have some very good news for ya!"

"What is it Krabby Patty?!" teased Misao.

"DON'T CALL ME KRABBY PATTY!" Shouted Patricia back at Misao "Please..."

"Sorry" Blurted Misao

"Anyway" Explained Patricia "I am going to see good ol' Uncle Brum in a couple of weeks time, and I wanna take Konata, Hiyori, Yutaka, Minami and You with me, would you like that?"

"YEAH!" Shrilled Misao at the top of her lungs "But who is your Uncle Brum, and why is he called that?"

"Well, he's really my Uncle Greg, but he's from Birmingham in England, and folk round there are known as Brummies, and I visit him at lest once a year. There also is a back-story I'll explain tommorow, but he's interested in you guys so I said I'd take some of my friends along, is that gonna be alright with your Mom?"

Misao hesitantly said "Is it gonna cost anything, do I have to pay?"

"No" responded Patricia "Me and Uncle Brum are gonna do the payin'"

"IS YOUR FRIEND'S UNCLE THAT LITTLE YELLOW CAR THAT DRIVES AROUND THE PLACE?!" Tsuraya laughed out loudly.

"Stow it!" Snarled Misao "Sorry Patty, that's Tsuraya, she's visiting for a few days, she was making a reference to that little car that we used to watch when we were little"

"Yep" Replied Patricia "Brum was actually produced in Birmingham funnily enough. So anyway, be sure to take some money with ya, around ummm...I'd say 10000 Yen or such, see what your Mom Says, we'll be goin' shopping around the Bullring and he's arranged for us to go bowling!"

"Ok!" Said Misao "I'll see ya later!" Then she hung up.

"Tsuraya" said Misao firmly "That was a bit over the top"

"Sorry" Tsuraya meekly replied. "I was just joking"

"Well" said Misao proudly "I'll be off to visit Patty Martin's uncle in 2 weeks time with my friends!"

"Who's Patty Martin?" Asked Tsuraya.

"An exchange student from California" Misao quickly replied "She grew a huge fascination with all Japanese Anime and Manga, and even taught herself Japanese just simply by watching it all, dunno why her uncle is from England though, that's what I'll ask her tomorrow"

"Ah" replied Tsuraya "Can I come and see her?"

"Sure, after School" Replied Misao "Mum will be coming home soon, so I'll see ya tommorow Tsuraya!"

"Ok!" Replied Tsuraya as she left "Lets have more fun tomorrow!"

When Misao's mum came back, Misao asked her if she could come with Patricia on her visit.

"Hmmm...yes" replied Misao's Mum "But listen, be careful, I don't want you getting hurt when you are over a thousand kilometres from home? Ok?"

"Yes!" Replied Misao

"I'll give you 10000 yen to spend while you are away, probably get me, your dad, and your brother a gift from Birmingham" said Misao's mum.

"Sure thing!" Said Misao.

_Author's notes_

_Uncle Brum is gonna be another story coming shortly, stay tuned._


	2. Chapter 2

The next day however was a Friday *no references to Rebecca Black here*

At morning break time, Misao caught up with Patricia to ask about her uncle.

"Because you're Californian and your uncle is a "Brummie", why would that be" asked Misao.

Patricia turned around and explained.

"It's about my Grandfather on my Dad's side of the family" she replied. Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa, Miyuki, Hiyori, Ayano, Yutaka and Minami were all sitting near to Patricia and eagerly listened.

"What is a Brummie Miyuki?" asked Kagami and Tsukasa.

"A Brummie is someone from Birmingham, the 2nd Largest city in England, it used to be part of Warwickshire and some parts of it were historically part of Staffordshire and Worcestershire." Miyuki explained "Then in 1974, it formed the county of the West Midlands along with places like Wolverhampton, Walsall and Coventry, I think..."

"Hehehehe, always rely on the Miyuwiki!" Chortled Konata, "Even knows about...hehehehe...Miyuki, tell me the history of umm...Dhaka...Prague...Budapest...Bratislava...Warsaw...Belgrade,...Brno...Debrecen...Shanghai...Avignon...Rouen...Valladolid...Valencia...Manchester...Norwich...Dijon...Essen...Nuremberg...Munich...Linz...Milan...Cork...North Dakota...Minnesota...Pyroville in Craven...Greendale...Pontypandy...Yes! MIYUKI, TELL ME THE HISTORY OF KAGAMI'S TOILET!"

Kagami slapped Konata in the face "I AM GONNA SELLOTAPE YOUR ARSE SHUT!" She bellowed.

Konata fell down seeing stars everywhere.

"Sorry I don't know anything about Kagami's toilet" Replied Miyuki.

"Konata mentioned Pontypandy, is it where that Pembrokeshire Fireman known as "The Hero next Door" comes from?" Asked Hiyori

"Yes, Fireman Sam" Replied Miyuki and explained all about it!

"IF I EVER COME ACROSS THAT BASTARD NORMAN PRICE, I WILL KICK HIM IN THE ARSE!" yelled Hiyori.

"Hey hey hey! Stow it!" Yelled the indignant Patricia Martin. "You've heckled me for long enough!"

"Sorry" said Miyuki "I was explaining what a Brummie was"

Kagami snarled at Konata who just laughed.

Patty explained about her Grandfather and Uncle's history "Of course I am a Californian, but when my Dad was 5 years old, My Grandparents Divorced. Then my Grandfather married a woman from Birmingham, even though she was born in Walsall, she had a very thick Brummie accent, she must of moved into suburban Birmingham as a girl, but they did marry at St Matthew's church in Walsall. A year later, Gregory Martin, or Uncle Greg or Uncle Brum was born. He is 7 years younger than my father and he is married and has my 2 cousins, Peter and Mary. My Grandfather had 2 more marriages after the death of his second wife 18 years after they married, and when Uncle Greg was 17. She died in a car crash. Then...same old story...Married a woman from Macclesfield in Cheshire, Divorced 2 years later...and his fourth wife was from Lancashire, he married her..."

"Whoa holy shit!" heckled Tsukasa "4 marriages?"

"Hey!" Rebuked Patricia "Lemme finished...so he lived with her until he died 2 years ago in Colne, Lancashire. And as for my grandfather's 4th wife, I dunno if she's alive or dead, last time I heard from her was the year before my Grandfather's death"

"Hmmm" said Miyuki "That is quite a story, did he ever go back to America when he married your Uncle's mother?"

"Nope" Patricia Replied "He stayed in England until his death"

"Well...that was quite a life" said Minami "I can't wait to see Uncle Brum"

"Brrm brrm brrm brrm brrm! BRUM!" Chortled Yutaka

"Is she hinting to that yellow car of a similar name? And is IT from Birmingham?" asked Kagami

"Yep" replied Patricia "It was SET around Birmingham!"

"So who is coming with me in 2 weeks time?" Asked Patricia

"Me!" Chimed Minami, Konata, Misao, Yutaka, Minami and Hiyori.

"Good!" said Patricia "Do you have your parents approval?"

They replied "Yes!"

"My Mum gave me 10000 yen for all the stuff!" Chirped Misao "She wants me to get me a gift for her, my dad and my brother"

"ALRIGHT!" Squealed Patricia "Remember! 10000 yen for Bullring and other stuff"

Minami stared puzzled at Patricia "Why did your grandfather divorce your father's mother?" she asked.

"Erm because" replied Patricia "Because of religious reasons, because my Grandfather was Protestant and my Grandmother was Catholic, and she wanted to raise my Dad as a Catholic, hence I am Roman Catholic. He would not agree so that is one of the reasons for the divorce, there is more than just that, but it ain't my business"

"I didn't know you were a Roman Catholic Patty" chirped Yutaka "And is your Uncle a Protestant then?"

"Yep, more accurately Anglican" replied Patricia

"What is the difference between Catholics, Protestants and Anglicans Miyuki?" Asked Tsukasa

"Yeah Miyuki" requested Patricia "Could you take Tsukasa and Kagami with you whil you are explaining, I need some time with just these guys"

"Sure" replied Miyuki

"What?" Protested Kagami "Is there a secret- AAAAAH!"

Miyuki led Kagami and Tsukasa off while explaining to them.

Patricia began to explain about what will happen on the visit to Birmingham "It will be 2 weeks today when we fly over to Birmingham International Airport, we'll be then getting the train to Birmingham New Street station on one of them cool Virgin Train Pendolinos! If we don't miss it, if not then we'll be on a London Midland Train. Maybe Cross Country or Arriva Trains Wales if not. Uncle Brum is letting a Hotel for you guys to stay in for the duration of the visit, while I'll be sleeping at his place, sorry guys, it's only a 3 bedroom house and we can only fit Uncle Brum, his wife, and my 2 cousins and me, which I'll probably be sleeping in either Peter's room or downstairs. But the Hotel is just 10 minutes walk away. We'll be doing quite a lot of activities, and shopping around the Bullring, and we even have a bowling booked for one day!"

"That sounds Awesome" chirped Misao

"Does Mary have the same breast size as you Patty Chan?" Asked Konata impertinently

"Yep, she does, but she's the biggest breast size in her whole class!" replied Patricia

"Then what about Peter, does he go nuts over his sister's melons?" blurted Hiyori

"Ehehehehehe" giggled Patricia "They actually did have sex together once and they have a sentiment of romantic warmth"

Everyone shuddered "WHAT?!" Protested Hiyori "THAT CANNOT BE RIGHT!"

"I have no problem with that" Replied Patricia

Misao wanted to say something "I wanna tell you about my new friend I-" but she got heckled, the ground started rumbling.

"Earthquake!" Warned Konata

"TAKE COVER, THIS MIGHT BE A BIG ONE!" Yelled Patricia

Everyone ran for cover.

In a few moments, the earthquake was over, it did not do that much damage, except for smashed pots and glasses and such.

"That were not too bad" said Patricia as she got back up

Then the bell went to say it was time for lessons again

"Who did you wanna say about?" Asked Patricia to Misao

"I'll tell ya at lunchtime" replied Misao

"Ok!" Responded Patricia as the walked inside.

The first job they had to do was pick up all the pencils and rulers off the floor after the earthquake.

Meanwhile Tsuraya was in the centre of town on the phone to Haruhi who seemed to be rather puzzled about a lot of things.

"What?" Haruhi grumbled over the phone "Don't tell me you saw aliens run out like chickens when the earthquake struck."

"No no no" responded Tsuraya "I did see some plant pots getting smashed and the big chandelier where I am not has just stopped swinging"

Haruhi groaned "Ah Tsuraya...why do you have to be in the middle of a Shopping Mall when an earthquake strikes, god's sake, it could have been a big massive one"

Tsuraya lost her patience "Suzumiya-san, It was not a big one, and if it was, the whole fucking place would be desolate by now! Understand?!" and she swiftly hang up.

"Bollocks, she fucking hung me up!" seethed Haruhi as she walked back into the classroom, but she felt better after another grope of Mikuru's breasts.

"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYY!" Squealed Mikuru.

"Hmmm" remarked Haruhi to Kyon "That were good" then she began to grumble again about Tsuraya. "Too much sugar from all those sweets in the Mall I supposed"

But she stopped as soon as Koizumi and Yuki walked in.

"Any news about Kyonko?" She blurted out

"Yes" replied Yuki "From what I hear, she's looking into the project"

"Good" replied Haruhi "This should work out"

"Indeed" came Yuki's response "The Uniform Foxtrot Oscar case should be sorted out with her intervention"

"What is a "Unform Foxtrot Oscar"?" Puzzled Mikuru

"It's a UFO Mikuru!" blurted out Haruhi quicky We've had a possible sighting of a UFO last week, hence Uniform Foxtrot Oscar, UFO!" and she then groped Mikuru again!

"It was possible that it was another Solar antic" uttered Koizumi

"I doubt it" replied Kyon coldly "Yuki was sure she'd seen a Uniform Foxtrot Oscar"

"Koizumi-Kun, don't blurt out such rubbish, it was one of them Uniform Foxtrot Oscars" replied Yuki sternly.

"But UFOs are just a conspiracy" Protested Koizumi

"Go with what Nagato-san says!" Snapped Kyon and Koizumi settled down to Yuki's decision.

Later, at lunchtime, Misao, Patricia and Konata sat down with Kagami and Miyuki.

"So who is this new friend of your's Misao?" asked Patricia

Misao turned red "Well, Chibikko, you are gonna like this" she blurted.

"What will I like?" stammered Konata

"Don't be bullshitting us with this Misao!" Snapped Kagami

"She's that green haired girl called Tsuraya-senpai, from your favourite anime" Replied Misao with pride. "She is around here for a week, and hopefully Kimdori will also come around!"

Konata froze...she could not belive it "You serious?" she stuttered at Misao

"I am serious Chibikko!" protested Misao "Look at these selfies we've done on my phone" and she showed everyone them.

"Holy Virgin Mary!" exclaimed Patricia "You ain't buckin' us around now!"

Kagami snarled skeptically "I think it's just some arse clown who is cosplaying, not the real Tsuraya"

"No" Misao loudly protested "It is the real Tsuraya!"

"Oh my GOD!" Exclaimed Konata "Misakichi! I cannot believe it!"

"Now I know they are actually real!" Miyuki stammered "I wonder how she and Haruhi are getting on!"

"It's a load of bullshit" Dismissed Kagami "If onee-chan found out Sgt. Frog was real, she'd be shitting herself with joy"

Hiyori eyed over Misao's shoulder.

"DON'T TELL ME THAT IS REALLY WHO IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE!" She shouted hastily.

"Ah...Hiyori-san, you nearly made me drop my meatball" Misao shrieked "This is a commotion I know"

"Sorry" Hiyori blurted "Me and Ayano were wandering about Kona-Chan's excitement"

"Never you mind" Konata back chatted "You dunno"

"Ah, well Hiyori-san sure knows who it is" replied Ayano "and obviously it's Tsuraya, who's been hanging out with Misao"

"HOW IN THE NAME OF LORD LAVINER'S ARSEHOLE DO YOU KNOW?!" Hiyori shouted "IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE? ARE YA KIDDIN' ME?!"

"No" replied Ayano calmly "I saw Misao with her yesterday evening as I was heading off home"

"I must be on a losing streak!" Gasped Hiyori and she ran away squawking like a guinea fowl.

"Gosh" muttered Kagami "I must be on a losing streak as well"

"You're actually on your period Kagami" laughed Miyuki "So yes, you are"

"DO I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE ARSE CLOWN?!" snarled Kagami

Konata sniggered "Kagamin would make a bad clown"

"THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR FUCKING GOB AND BLURT OUT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK!" Kagami thundered

Patricia simply said nothing while Konata facepalmed

"So, do you guys wanna meet up with her after School?" asked Misao excitedly

"YEAH! YA BETCHA!" Konata answered quickly

"Yeah!" Responded Patricia

"I AM NOT!" snarled Kagami "DO I GIVE A FUCK?!"

"Erm...No, I cannot sorry" replied Miyuki "I need to visit the dentist, again" and she began to shudder.

After School, Misao, Konata, Patricia and Minami went over to meet up with Tsuraya.

"YO, MISAO!" yelled Tsuraya "How is it goin'! Oh who have you got with you?!"

"I do not believe it!" squealed Konata "It really is Tsuraya-senpai!"

"Neither can I" squealed Patricia back

"Who is this?" Asked Minami

"TSURAYA! HOW IS IT GOING?!" Misao excitedly "How was your day around the town"

"Well, the earthquake did not freak me out a lot" replied Tsuraya "and who are your friends by the way?"

Everyone introduced themselves, but not before Konata excitedly introduced herself.

Tsuraya turned to Minami "Oh look, green haired Yuki Nagato!" she laughed "You have so much in common!"

"Eh?" stuttered Minami "What motivated you to call me that?"

Tsuraya replied "Well, you sound just like her, and you are quiet, and a similar personality, for a moment, you seemed like Sakaki from Azumanga Daioh"

"Ah, she's just a bit jumpy" said Misao to Minami

"Oh" replied Minami "I see"

"It is just some awesome to meet ya Tsuraya!" Chimed Patricia "I cannot believe this"

"Oh well that's ok" replied Tsuraya "Kimodori should be around tomorrow, she has been down with a cold, poor soul, but she's better!"

"Ah...Kimdori san is coming as well?" asked Konata "Anyone else from your gang?"

"Just Kimdori, Haruhi and the others are on a case about Uniform Foxtort Oscars"

"WHAT?" Everyone said at once.

"UFO's" explained Tsuraya "Yuki has somewhat reported one last week along with a few other people, so they are sorting the case out"

"Why you call it Uniform Foxtrot Oscar" asked Minami

"It's the NATO phonetic alphabet" Explained Patricia "Basically, Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kila, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whisky, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu"

"Whoa" everybody except Tsuraya exclaimed "That was awesome"

They all went down to a local Café and had something to drink

At the Café, Konata had a bright idea.

"Patty-Chan" she asked "Can you spell our names with the NATO Phonetic alphabet?"

"Urmm.."said Patricia "Well, for you Konata...it would be...Kila, Oscar, November, Alpha, Tanga, Alpha! TADAAA!"

Everyone stared at Patricia in amazement "Do more" said Konata

"Well, Misao" Said Patricia "Mike, India, Sierra, Alpha, Oscar. Minami, you would be, Mike, India, November, Alpha, November, India. Tsuraya, you would be, Tango, Sierra, Uniform, Romeo, Alpha, Yankee, Alpha. And of course me, Papa, Alpha, Tango, Romeo, India, Charlie, India, Alpha, or alternately, Papa, Alpha, Tango, Tango, Yankee! DADAAAA!"

"Oh my!" Exclaimed Minami "How clever and amazing!"

"Meh" replied Tsuraya "The SOS brigade always use NATO Phonetic Alphabet when on mysteries, and the UFO case is the latest example"

"Obviously" blurted Konata

"Lord, that were cool and all...but...I need to excuse myself to the toilet" said Patricia as she got up and headed to the toilet.

"Man, that soda were amazing" said Tsuraya "Now did we pay for the drinks...I can't remember"

"We did" replied Konata "We did so when we were ordering them"

"Yeah, I had the same flavour soda as you Tsuraya!" chimed Misao "Now I could do with a pee as well"

"Yeah well" replied Konata "wait until Patty gets back, urgh...stupid me, I had too much between going to the toilet, urgh...jeez...I could be quite a while..."

"What is up Chibikko?" Asked Misao

"I am bursting" groaned Konata "I stupidly forgot to go between a few drinks, now can I go Patty comes back...urgh!"

Patricia returned "Hey guys I am back!" She chirped but Konata quickly dashed to the toilets before she could even sit back down "What the?"

"Kona-chan is bursting, she cannot hold on much longer" explained Misao

"Oh Lord" gasped Patricia "That is not good"

A minute later, Konata returned..."Whew, that is better"

"Why did you rush to the toilets like a jack rabbit?" asked Patricia as Misao headed off to the Toilets

"Because I stupidly forgot to go between having a few drinks" Konata explained "I swear I could of filled a bottle of Coca-Cola full to the brim of pee back there"

"Whoa" exclaimed Patricia.

Later, as they were all walking back, they bumped into...surprise..surprise...KAGAMI!

Kagami stared and gasped in shock "WHO IS THIS?!"

Tsuraya stepped forward "It's me, Tsuraya-senpai!"

Kagami flinched "IS THAT ARSE CLOWN!" she yelled

"No no no no, Kagami, it is Tsuraya, no gimmicks!" replied Konata

"Tsuraya is not an Arse Clown!" protested Misao "She is my friend"

"OH BOLLOCKS!" Kagami snarled and she stomped away back home.

"Ah well" giggled Tsuraya "At least she did not have the wit to call me a green head!" then her phone rang. It was Kimdori.

"Yo, Tsuraya!" chirped Kimdori over the phone "How are you going with your comrade? Having a fun time?"

"Yeah! It is awesome, I also met her friends!" chimed Tsuraya back "We had a drink, and Patty Chan managed to spell out all our names with the NATO Phonetic Alphabet, me and Misao had the same flavour soda, and poor Konata has just been bursting for a pee. Hehehehe, other than the small earthquake this morning, things have been going well! Hehehehehe! Will you be coming over to Misao's house tommorow?"

"Yeah!" replied Kimdori

"As Misao said that she would get her guitar out, I haven't seen it yet, but apparently, it's a "Jazzmaster" if you know what that is, she is really in to 90s Indie stuff." said Tsuraya.

"I'll look forward to it, see ya tomorrow! Bye!" said Kimdori

"Oh ho ho ho ho" Said Patricia to Tsuraya "When Patty rocks on on her guitar, it is like ture 80s 90s Indie Rock, Grunge, you name it!"

"Yeah!" Chimed Misao "I'll get it out tommorow, you'll see my Jazzmaster in all it's glory!"

"Can't wait!" Chirped Tsuraya "See ya guys tommorow!" and they all headed back as the sun began to set.

_Author's notes_

_I've learned about this stuff about, historic English counties, and you name it, mainly on Wikipedia, but I am quite intelligent myself, I was even joked as a Human Wikipedia like Miyuki Takara in my last School_

_A bottle of Coca Cola is about 500ml, silly old Konata for that._

_I am not sure about Misao's handness, if she is right handed, she'd have a Squier Vintage Modified Jazzmaster, if she is Southpaw, then it's a Fender Japan lefty Jazzmaster, but the colour however is Candy Apple Red_


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Misao was in her bedroom sharpening up her Grungy attire, humming to Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana at the same time. She had put on her white T-shirt, her baggy trousers pulled up to her knees, and adjusting her hair too look the part.

"Bingo!" she said in satisfaction "but there is one thing missing!" then we went to find her brother's roll on deodorant, and applied it in thick concentration.

"Hehehehe" she giggled "I smell like Teen Spirit! Note that that's the inspiration to the classic grunge anthem!" she headed back to her room and got her trusty Candy Apple Red Jazzmaster out and plugged it into her little Marshall MS-2 pocket amplifier, and clipped it onto her pocket.

"I am the Indie heroine!" she gleamed as he looked herself into the mirror. Then the doorbell rang.

Misao rushed down, with everything, and answered the door, there waiting was Tsuraya, Konata, Patricia, Minami with the addition of Yutaka.

"HI GUYS!" Chirped Misao as she opened the door "I am the Indie rock heroine!"

"My!" remarked Patricia "You really are like Kurt Cobain!"

"Hehehehe, thanks, better than that screaming and roaring bastard from Maximum The Hormone!" replied Misao, and mockingly imitated the intro growl on "What's up People?"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWR! SAY RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR! Ok that hurt my throat!"

Tsuraya Laughed.

Konata sniffed "Misakichi, what is that smell?" she asked

Misao replied "It's Teen Spirit!" and laughed

Minami butted in "I think it's deodorant"

"DEODORANT?!" everyone except Misao exclaimed

"That smells like Men's deodorant Misao, that must be your brother's, why did you put it on" said Yutaka.

"Yeah I did put my brother's deodorant on!" replied Misao "For a true Grunge Spirit odour!"

Misao invited everyone to her Garden, where asked her brother to make some drinks. He then sniffed suspiciously "Onee-Chan? Why did you put my deodorant on?!" he asked all surprised.

"Because it's part of my Grunge Spirit Attire!" laughed Misao "Don't worry, I still shave of my body hair, not like that is causing addition undesired odours!"

"Ah..." said her truly stunned brother "Oh well, what drinks do you have in mind"

"I'd say Blackcurrant juice with a lemon slice, with them little cocktail umbrellas and some decoration, you get the idea!" replied Misao

"Ok!" Her brother replied and got to work on the drinks as she picked up her guitar and went outside with the others.

"Misao! Lemme hear ya rock out!" everyone chimed.

"Sure thing!" replied Misao as she turned on her pocket amplifier and set on the overdrive channel and turned up the volume. Then she struck a power chord riff compromising of an E, G, F , A, E, G, F , B power chord sequence, striking each power chord twice before switching to the next power chord *ok you get the idea*

"Whoa! That really does rock" exclaimed Patricia

"EPIC!" giggled Tsuraya

"Do it again!" cheered Konata

But then Misao's brother arrived with the drinks. "I hope your fun in the sun doesn't go unchecked, have you put sun cream on?" he asked

"YES!" chimed all the girls "I put some on all of them" said Misao

"Good, have fun you little scallywags!" said Misao's brother as he headed back inside to carry on his studies.

"Us? Scallywags?!" giggled Patricia and Tsuraya "Indeed!"

"We are naturally scallywags!" giggled Konata "except for Minami I guess"

"Hrmmm" groaned Minami and she took a sip of the blackcurrant juice.

Misao took a sip of juice and then did a little something with the tremolo arm of her Jazzmaster, then turned off the overdrive to hear it in clean tone.

"Ya know Misao" said Patricia "That seems to remind me of a train passing"

"Really?" Replied Misao, then she played the A Barre Chord again and pressed down on the tremolo bar.

"Yes it does make me think of it, like the engineer blowing the horn of his engine while it rumbles by"

"Would that be the Doppler effect?" asked Minami

"If only Miyuki was here" groaned Konata. Then she took a sip of her juice.

Misao took another sip of juice and then said "Hey, listen to this, you will find this interesting!" Then she starting picking in the section between the bridge and the tremolo unit creating a chiming sound. It was a sound that made Konata almost fall asleep. Misao then did it on all 6 strings at one then wiggled the Tremolo arm, making a very distinct sound.

"Whoa!" said Patricia "That sounds like, ummm, ummm, ummm, sound almost like bells of heaven"

"Well" replied Misao "It does have a heavenly sound when you do something like that! Artists like Sonic Youth have done that sorta thing!"

Yutaka slurped down the last of her juice and let out a big burp.

"BUR..BUR..BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!"

"Pardon you Yutaka!" blurted Patricia hastily, but Tsuraya and Misao laughed "OH THIS IS SUCH A FANGDANGO!"

Misao quickly turned on the overdrive again and strummed that same riff she had impressed the others with. The pickups of her Jazzmaster gave it this very awesome tone that was just right for all that Grunge and Indie stuff that she was in to.

Minami gave a slight chortle, she for once found it funny.

Then shortly after all the girls had finished their juice and Misao had put the glasses inside, a figure with lighter green hair walked up to them. Tsuraya had already answered the door with Misao, as she was expecting her to arrive anytime. It was Kimdori.

Konata gasped in amazement "Is that Kimdori?" She asked

Patricia was in the same level of amazement as Konata was "This has to be Kimdori-san! Tsuraya said that she was coming over as well!" Kimdori laughed and introduced herself.

"Hi, I am Kimdori, one of Tsuraya's good friends, and I hear of a Fangdango going on between Giovanni Magnifico and Lorenzo Fantastico whoever they are, or is the Italian alter egos of."

"I am Giovanni Magnifico!" chirped out Tsuraya

"And I am Lorenzo Fantastico!" chimed in Misao

"Mamma Mia, Papa Romano!" and more random Italian was blurted out.

"Ok" Giggled Kimdori "Enough of all this Papa Italiano stuff, now who is who?"

"Konata, Patricia, Minami, Yutaka, Misao"

"Misao?" asked Kimdori "What is with the 1990's Seattle attire and the guitar?"

Misao quickly explained about her love of 80s/90s Alternative Rock, et al.

"When Misao is rocking on her guitar" said Patricia "She is the 80s/90s Grunge, Indie, Alternative in one guitar player!"

"YA DAMN RIGHT!" Squealed Misao and played another cool Power chord riff. The sound of the overdriven Jazzmaster just blew Kimdori's mind away. "That is just an epic grungy sound" she complimented. "You have the right guitar as well as the right looks and odour"

"Thanks!" replied Misao "That is my brother's deodorant by the way" and she giggled.

A little bit later as the Girls were singing Mottoke Sera Fuku with Misao on guitar, Kagami walked by, and she could hear all the noise coming from behind the garden fence. She opened the gate to Misao's back garden and everyone presently stopped.

"WHAT IS ALL THIS BLOODY CRAP?!" She snarled in an irate and rude manner.

"Kagami, never mind us!" Blurted Misao "We are having fun in the sun"

"More like making a fucking racket on a guitar and disturbing the neighbours" replied Kagami sharply. "and who is the other arse clown here?!"

"That's Kimdori!" said Konata "Kagami please, calm down!"

"HOW CAN I IF THESE FUCKING PISS FILLED WANKING ARSEHOLES ARE MAKING A COMPLETE RACKET IN THIS NEIGHBOURHOOD?!" bellowed Kagami "I was going out on stroll, I wish I never came here"

"I do apologize" said Konata to the other girls "She is an irate piss filled wanker, but she's on her period so this makes her extra irate"

"I AM GOING TO DUCK TAPE YOU FAT SHIT FILLED GOB SHUT!" Kagami thundered "YOU FUCKING PISS FILLED WANKERS WITH SHIT FILLED ARSEHOLES WHICH I AM GONNA DUCK TAPE EACH ANY EVERY ONE OF THEM SHUT!" and she stuck her middle finger up a Tsuraya and Kimdori then slammed the gate.

As Kagami stomped off, Konata chortled. Kimdori and Tsuraya were utterly shocked, they could not believe their ears.

"How rude" Groaned Misao "I think we have been heckled, I've now lost the motivation to carry on doing this, lets go into town for lunch and come back to it this afternoon, and I'll ask my brother to make us a snack for the evening."

"Sounds like a plan" the others said as they got up and headed off into town.

In town, they went into a restaurant that cooks Misao's favourite Meatballs, they settled down with a few plates of Sushi, and some other food and drinks as well.

"How rude can that girl be?" asked a stunned Kimdori to Konata

"She is tsundere, so duh" replied Konata "and she gets pissed of easily, she like a bull waiting to charge at you, and her temper tantrums are just hilarious!"

"Yeah!" said Misao "Like that one on Thursday, hahahahahahaha!"

"What is so funny about Kagami's tantrums?" puzzled Yutaka.

"They are just sooooooo Hilarious!" chortled Konata

"Yeah, they are a pretty good performance all right" butted in Patricia.

Minami just stared, she could not get the gist of it at all. "Considering she wanted to duck tape our anuses shut, how would we be able to poop?" she pondered

"No no no, don't go into that" replied Konata firmly "I would just remove the Duck tape from my arsehole"

"But Duck Tape is very strong" said Patricia "and it would hurt"

"Pah" snorted Konata "Kagami's threats are just complete bollocks, she is only full of piss"

The food presently arrived along with the drinks, Misao tucked into her favourite meatballs.

"Good thing I went to the loo this time" muttered Konata to herself.

Misao was clearly enjoying her favourite meatballs, they seemed 10 times better than the School Canteen's meatballs, but Misao didn't care in the slightest. They were her favourite Meatballs, and that was all that mattered.

Patricia asked the girls "For those of you who's gonna come with me to visit my uncle, have you got any ideas of what you want to spend your money on when we go shopping in the Bullring?"

Konata was quick to answer "Oh yeah, I would be buying Mangas and Anime DVDs, and some more games, and of course, sweets!"

"Erm...you do know the Mangas would be published in English?" Patricia pointed out.

"Yes, I ain't concerned" replied Konata strongly.

Minami came out with something "If they got a pet shop, then it would be some toys for Cherry"

"And some Chocolate hearts for you Minami-Chan!" heckled Yutaka

The others just laughed and Minami looked up at the ceiling.

"Yutaka, that were epic!" giggled Konata.

"Shut up" grumbled Minami all red in the face.

"No problemo!" chirped Yutaka.

"I dunno about Hiyori, bet she'd want some notepads for all the Dojini she's doing" giggled Misao "of course, I am gonna find the perfect gift for my family!"

Patricia responded gleefully "Don't forget to take cameras with you, and your cloths and stuff, I'll be talking to your parents about any special needs, because they all say yes, do they?"

"Yes" the girls replied.

"Good" responded Patricia "I cannot wait!"

_Authors Notes:_

_The Fender Jaguar and Jazzmaster do make that chiming sound when strummed between the bridge and the tremolo system, it is used by artists like Sonic Youth and so on_

_Teen Spirit was actually a deodorant, it was another Kurt x Courtney thingy, cannot remember exactly._

_I am note exactly sure if it's Motokke or Motekke...sorry If I am wrong_

_Stay tuned for the next few chapters!_


	4. Chapter 4

After they had had their lunch, the girls went around the streets of town. Misao was looking around to get ideas for gifts for her parents while on the visit to Birmingham, but Patricia began insisting that she held out until they actually got there! "Oh..." said Misao "Guess ya' right there" and then Tsuraya pulled up next to her. "YO Misao!" she said loudly "Look, that's your favourite album there!" and she pointed to a poster of Nirvana's Nevermind, this was released back in 1991. "Kewl" chirped Misao "That is the best album ever!"

Patricia interrupted "Misao" she asked "You said you were a fan of Slade as well, hence we are going to Birmingham, ya might wanna get that Slade spirit on! Uncle Brum was a fan of them in his High School years"

Misao lit up "Oh yeah!" she giggled "Slade! We'll do a bit of that when we get back, and a bit of Twisted Sister! Ya know, circa Stay Hungry!" Misao grinned. She wanted to Rock after All!

Minami added in "What about Black Sabbath?" Misao lit up even more but Patricia calmed her down. "I'd say we do Sabbath actually in Birmingham, ya know, good idea Minami"

Minami sniggered to herself quitetly "I knew it would be a good idea, well..." but then Tsuraya heckled them "Is there gonna be any pot to smoke if that's the case" Patricia turned back sharply at Tsuraya. "You can get arrested for possession of drugs over there!" she snapped firmly "He does not possess any!" Tsuraya sunk "Sorry" she said "It was a joke" Patricia was still cross "That was beyond a joke!" she said crossly "We don't do that! Do we?!" Tsuraya kept quiet.

"I saw some asshole from Handsworth get busted by the cops for possession of illegal drugs" Patricia fumed crossly to Misao "Why the fuck she blurt it out...I was actually witnessing the arrest of the asshole!" Misao looked at Patricia "Patty, Tsuraya was joking" she said "Don't take what she said seriously" But Patricia was still stewed up about it.

But Konata however had only half heard it all, she had heard about Black Sabbath and was chuntering on about it more. "Deeeeeoooooooooowwww...I AM IRON MAN!" she said pretending she was Ozzy Osbourne, and began humming the tune Iron Man to herself. "#Daaaa...daaa... .da...dananana.. . ...!#" Then the lyrics kicked in Konata's head.

"#Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all, or if he moves will he fall?#" but then her phone went off. It was Tsukasa.

"Hey Kona-chan" said Tsukasa over the phone "I apologize for Onee-Chan's behaviour, I did not want your day with Misao and all to be heckled" But Konata replied "It's okay Tsukasa, but I kinda wondered why she wanted to tape my bum shut?" Tsukasa laughed and replied "She only says it when she is very irate, she's said it to me, anyway, how is it going?" Konata explained about it all and Misao and Patricia talking about rock bands of the West Midlands "Yeah" giggled Tsukasa "You think you are Iron Man?! Whoa...what does science have to say?" Konata laughed "I need to find a magnetic field!" Tsukasa noted that and hung up.

Konata paused. "Metal" she chuckled. Patricia walked up behind her and whispered the words of Tenacious D "You can't kill the metal, the metal will live on" Konata's eyes lit up at it! They would have a laugh about it when they got back to Misao's place. Misao would find more of her brother's deodorant first before they did more rock n metal jokes.

Minami and Yutaka did not say much more as they were knocked off by all these metal jokes.

Meanwhile however, Kagami was sitting down drinking tea with Miyuki. Kagami was still cross with them from earlier in the morning. "What these arseclowns doing Miyuki?" she moaned to her "Misao had her guitar too loud, the neighbours would be pissed at her" But Miyuki has other ideas. "You see" she said to Kagami "It's The Metal"

"What?!" snarled Kagami "What is The Metal?! Are you trying to arse me?!" But then Miyuki spoke Jack Black's words of wisdom from Tenacious D.

"You can't kill the metal,  
The metal will live on.  
Punk-Rock tried to kill the metal,  
But they failed, as they were smite to the ground.  
New-wave tried to kill the metal,  
But they failed, as they were stricken down to the ground.  
Grunge tried to kill the metal, Ha ha ha ha ha ha,  
They failed, as they were thrown to the ground!"

Kagami could not believe her ears, Miyuki was implying that she could not stop Misao from getting her ways and the Metal was unstoppable. "Miyuki?! Are you fucking berserk?!" Kagami Snarled, she was clearly unimpressed. But Miyuki was not finished there, she carried on.

"No-one can destroy the metal,  
The metal will strike you down with a vicious blow.  
We are the vanquished foes of the metal,  
We tried to win for why we do not know"

Kagami was starting to flare up in temper as Miyuki kept explaining it all.

"New-wave tried to destroy the metal, but the metal had its way!  
Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal, but metal was in the way!  
Punk-rock tried to destroy the metal, but metal was much too strong!  
Techno tried to defile the metal, but techno was proven wrong!  
Yea!"

"Metal!  
It comes from hell!"

"I DO NOT FUCKING BELIEVE MY FUCKING EARS!" screamed Kagami "I NEVER HEARD MIYUKI-SAN SPEW OUT SUCH SHIT FROM HER MOUTH!"

"It is true" replied Miyuki "You cannot stop The Metal, it lives on, whatever"

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" shrieked Kagami and stomped off in a huff. Miyuki gave a satisfied smirk on her face and cleaned the dirt from off her glasses. "It is true" she chortled to herself "You cannot destroy the metal, it lives on for eternity" Then she finished her tea and got up sniggering. "Metal" she giggled "You cannot stop it-Tenacious D forever"

Back at Misao's place, Misao was getting herself spruced up again while everybody was waiting in the garden in the warm afternoon sun. Konata was talking to Patricia about The Metal. "You cannot kill the metal" they said together "Metal will live on" They did not know that Miyuki had said that to Kagami. But then Konata's phone rang and it was from Kagami. "Oh" giggled Konata "I'd better not put my ear on the speaker" and she answered it. She also called for Misao to come down but Misao had gone to the toilet and could not hear. But then she slipped on a puddle of her own urine where she unfortunately missed somehow. "OUCH!" yelped Misao as she fell on the ground "MY FUCKING LEG! Ouch!" Then she slowly got up and saw where she slipped on her own urine. "How the hell did that happen?!" she gasped. She grabbed her guitar and went down.

Meanwhile. Kagami yelled down the phone and the speaker buzzed almost incomprehensibly. "HEY LISTEN TO THIS!" giggled Konata as Misao came down to the guitar with grunge attire and Fender Jazzmaster in hand and a sore leg where she heard Kagami's incomprehensible ranting and raving. "Is she having another tantrum?" she asked to Konata. Minami asked Misao what was that noise she made. "Misao, what happened?"

"I slipped on my own pee" grunted Misao "I missed the toilet somehow and I slipped there and hurt my left leg" Misao was visibly exasperated. But for now, they focused on Kagami ranting at them over the phone. Patricia laughed. "You can't kill the Metal" she said. "Misao! Hook your amp up and play the riff to the Metal!" Misao knew the riff of The Metal and she hooked up her little pocket amplifier and handed it to Patricia. "My leg still hurts" she grunted but then she played the riff to The Metal.

Konata put on her best imitation of Jack Black and spoke the words of wisdom that Miyuki had spoke to Kagami earlier.

"You can't kill the metal,  
The metal will live on.  
Punk-Rock tried to kill the metal,  
But they failed, as they were smite to the ground.  
New-wave tried to kill the metal,  
But they failed, as they were stricken down to the ground.  
Grunge tried to kill the metal, Ha, ha,ha ha ha ha  
They failed, as they were thrown to the ground!"

Kagami was even more annoyed now. "THIS SHIT THAT MIYUKI WAS SAYING TO ME!" she yelled "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! SHUT UP NOW!" and she had a profanity filled rant at them until she angrily hung up on them.

The girls laughed. "What is she so angry about" giggled Yutaka "She does not underestimate the power of the Metal!" Minami agreed "No one can stop the metal" she said darkly.

"Misakichi?" asked Konata "Why are you complaining about your leg?" Misao duly replied and explained it all. "I slipped on my own pee when I went to the toilet" she replied "I somehow missed and then I slipped and hurt my left leg!" The girls started at Misao. Misao stared at then.

"I am not a futanari!" she snapped firmly "So stop staring me like that!"

The girls backed off. Misao was all red in embarrassment. "Jesus Christ" she grunted "Why all you suddenly think I am a Futanari because I missed on the toilet, come on!"

"No no no no!" replied Konata hastily "We never suspected that for a second, I don't know what made you think that we were thinking you were a futa" Misao looked at Konata blandly.

"You've watched too much Hentai Misakichi" she said "You've come across Futas while looking at Hentai" Misao cringed. "Chibikko!" she cried "Stop it...please..." and she shielded her face with the headstock of her guitar.

Tsuraya look at a beet red faced Misao "I never though you were one of them 'futas' for a split seconds" she said "What are they anyway"

"It's better if you don't know" replied the girls to her "It is honestly disgusting"

"Can we change the subject please" said Minami "Misao, can you do the metal!"

Misao grinned and got ready to play The Metal. Tsuraya giggled "YOU CAN'T STOP THE METAL NOW! EVERYONE! LETS ROCK" and she did the sign of the horns with her right hand.

Misao got ready and played the riff to The Metal with the tone as powerful as her Jazzmaster pickups would let her. Then Konata spoke the words of wisdom.

"You can't kill the metal,  
The metal will live on.  
Punk-Rock tried to kill the metal..."

_Authors notes:_

_No, Misao is NOT a futanari, I do not know how she missed the toilet._

_You need to listen to The Metal by Tenacious D to get the gist of this chapter._

_Slade and Black Sabbath both came from the West Midlands, though Slade was from Wolverhampton. _

_Misao is also a fan of Twisted Sister's Stay Hungry album from 1984, that contains the classics "I wanna rock" and "We're not gonna take it"_


	5. Chapter 5

Konata was saying Jack Blacks' words of Wisdom from Tenacious D 'The Metal' when she had suddenly began to have was most probably the epic hallucination she ever had. She found herself on a stage with thousands of metalheads all cheering, raising their fists and their signs of the horns. Konata was in a clad leather jacket and had a microphone in her hand. She knew this was metal.

She looked around and saw Misao on guitar, Patricia on the drums, and...Yutaka on bass guitar, how the heck did she learn it so quickly? She did not even have any musical talent. But nevermind, this was an hallucination. They were all in leather clad jackets and in true metalhead fashion, all cast iron clad garments and black.

Misao had in her hands, something like a left handed version of a Gibson Firebird, other than her Fender Japan Jazzmaster, and it seemed to have EMG pickups, that must have been routed into normal humbucker sized pools, even the guitar must of originally had Gibson Mini Humbuckers. Nevermind, this was a hallucination, a metal hallucination.

The four girls called out to the metalhead fans out the immortal opening lines of Manowar's 'Die For Metal' song.

"They can't stop us  
Let 'em try  
For heavy metal  
We will die!"

Konata raised up the horns as she said 'We will die!' and Misao struck the first blasting loud distorted guitar chords, quickly after doing the horns, and Patricia and Yutaka followed her. The metalheads began to headbang to the song. Konata edged towards the front of the stage with the microphone in her hand, she made the sign of the horns again as she veered towards the metalheads in her leather clad jacket and said the immortal words of Manowar's epic song.

"Quit my job this morning said forever  
I would hold my head up high  
Cause I need metal in my life  
Just like an eagle needs to fly "

Back on Earth, Konata was spaced out while she was having the epic hallucination. It was truly epic. Back in her hallucination, she changed her tone of voice for the gruff tone of Eric Adams, for the pure sound of metal singers.

"So I walked outside into the street  
From a hall I heard thunder and screams

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
I walked inside so I could hear  
and the guy beside me gave me a beer"

Konata gave of a staccato scream between the two lines as Misao grinded out the loud guitar chords, Patricia hit the drums like a pro, Yutaka was a surprisingly good at keeping up with the baseline. They all cheered in their microphones when Konata did her staccato scream. Konata spoke another immortal verse.

"He had his fist up in the air  
and called me brother said my friends  
are over there"

The Konata began to sing more melodically but retaining the gruff character of her imitation of Manowar's lead singer, Eric Adams.

"They call themselves immortals  
They're the truest of the true  
And in that very moment  
I was born again like you!"

Back on Earth, Minami and Yutaka looked at a Spaced out Konata, they did not realize she was having a Manowar hallucination. "Too much metal eh Kona-Chan?" asked Yutaka not realizing. Misao stared at Konata "Chibikko?" she asked "What are you doing?" Tsuraya laughed "Dreaming about being a metalhead!" But then they heard Konata quietly singing the chorus of the song in her hallucination. Back in Konata's hallucination however, the chorus had kicked in and Misao was hitting the chord sequence for the chorus as Konata sang the words of the chorus.

"They said hold your head up high  
Raise your fist up in the air  
Play metal louder than hell!"

Misao, Patricia and Yutaka joined in on the backing vocals on the line "Louder than hell!" and then Konata sang the same immortal words that they all said on the intro.

"They can't stop us  
Let 'em try  
For heavy metal  
We would die!"

Misao, Patricia and Yutaka repeated that and they kicked into the next verse. Konata sang the still immortal words out to the audience of metalheads.

"Brothers stand beside me, there's a battle on  
Know my words are true  
There's a battle for true metal  
They're marching; they're marching on  
me and you!"

Misao did a quick shred guitar solo in between these immortal lines. Back on earth, Patricia looked at her spaced out friend. "Hey Kona-chan!" she said "Is there something wrong? Then why are ya spaced out?" Misao tried to get her friend back up "I smell my Mum starting to cook dinner" she smiled and Tsuraya laughed at what she said "I wonder what's for dinner!" she said imitating King Harkinian. Misao responded to Tsuraya imitating Link "Oh boy!" she said "I'm so hungry, I can eat an Octorok!" They both laughed. Back in Konata's hallucination, she sang the next immortal lines.

"Ten thousand strong are here tonight  
With twenty thousand fists up in the air

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
The power of true metal's calling you  
It's everywhere!"

Konata let out another staccato scream as Misao, Patricia and Yutaka cheered with the metalheads, this was the best hallucination she had ever had. Misao seemed to be blasting out the riffs very well, Patricia was a kick arse drummer and Yutaka had learned bass so quickly.

* * *

Before Konata got onto the next chorus, she was snapped out of her hallucination and back into the real world. "Chibikko?" asked Misao "What were ya doin' all spaced out?! I though you had fainted" Patricia who had snapped Konata out from her hallucination by farting unintentionally laughed in embarrassment. "Who knew that my farts would wake you up from your daydream!" she laughed nervously then excused herself for farting. Tsuraya laughed "Maybe we could have Patty as a farting alarm clock!"

"That's not funny!" snapped Patricia "That's just taking the piss out of me" Minami agreed with Patricia. "Your jokes seem to be going out of hand" she said calmly. Konata however got up and rubbed her eyes.

"I had the best hallucination ever!" said Konata proudly "It could not get more metal than this!" and the other girls and Tsuraya eagerly listened to Konata explaining. "I was in a metal band with Misao on Guitar, Patty on Drums, Yutaka on Bass and me on lead vocals, we were playing Manowar 'Die for Metal' in front of a crowd of thousands of metalheads, we were just gonna do the second chorus when Patty farted and woke me up" The Girls all had mixed reactions.

"Me on bass guitar?!" panicked Yutaka "It is too hard, I have no musical skills whatsoever, I would not be able to do it!" Patricia and Misao however reacted differently still.

"Drums eh?" said Patricia "What was I doin'? Bang Bang Bang Bang then drumstick up mah ass?" and then Misao came out with her reaction.

"Well, That song is in Drop D tuning" she said "I don't know if I can play it, but in your hallucination, what type of guitar was I playin'? It must have been either my Jazzmaster or something like an ESP Eclipse, or Jackson or Ibanez" But Konata did not know. She shrugged at Misao.

"I dunno Misakichi" she replied "I don't know jack shit about guitars, other than your 'Jazzmaster', I don't even know what type of guitars that Haruhi and Yuki play on Live Alive while playing 'God Knows', even to warrant a pencil case being shoved up my arse"

"Well" replied Misao "Haruhi was playing an Italia Mondial Classic and Yuki was playing a Gibson SG Special"

"Right" came Konata's bland reply "As I said, I don't know 'owt 'bout guitars"

"Yeah!" said Tsuraya "The performance was AWESOME! I clearly remember it!" and she and Konata exchanged grins to eachother. The sun was beginning to set, it was late afternoon. Misao's brother had come outside to see what was going on.

"You girls alright?" he asked them. "Yes" they replied. Misao replied "Onee-Chan, my leg hurts after I slipped in the toilet" Misao's brother had wondered what had happened in the toilet shortly before Konata had her hallucination. Misao explained to him and then he checked her leg.

"My god!" he said "Onee chan, that is starting to bruise, you must of hit it hard" But while Misao's brother was seeing to her leg, Konata sniggered.

She had an idea "Lets play a prank on Kagami!" she chortled as she wanted Misao's brother to hear the squawking Kagami made on the phone to her. It sounded hilarious. Minami was not so keen on the idea. "Would she come over to kick our arses if she got really fucking pissed off?" she asked puzzled. "You know she can get very mad."

"Perhaps even crush you with a fucking steamroller if she's extremely fucking pissed" said Yutaka "She can be really angry, she threatened to crush me with a steamroller before"

"Thing is" replied Konata "She does not have access to a steamroller whatsoever. So all she says, just ignore them, she does that when she is angry"

Misao's brother was interested. "What shall we do?" he asked. Everybody stopped to think what they could sing to annoy Kagami. They were thinking and thinking when suddenly, Tsuraya came up with a very good idea indeed.

"We Will Rock You by Queen?" she asked. The others eyes lit up at the word. Misao's brother thought that was a splendid idea. "Yeah!" he said "But, we must not make Kagami suspicious about what we are gonna be doin'" Konata had thought it through.

"Well" said Konata "I was gonna phone Tsukasa and say that I wanted to apologize for annoying her and she would pass the phone to her and then we will put the prank in operation, I'll have loudspeaker on so we can hear for ourselves Kagami squawking!"

Everyone laughed. Konata told Misao's brother about Miyuki and what she had said to Kagami. Misao's brother laughed at it all. Konata dialled Tsukasa's number and it was action stations.

* * *

At the Hiragii family's house, Tsukasa was practising her recorder again, when Kagami came into the room. "Oh onee chan" she said "You're still making too much of a shrieking noise" Tsukasa looked at Kagami "Onee Chan" she cried "Do you think I blow to hard..." but before she could finish the sentence, her phone rang. It was Konata. "Oh" said Tsukasa "Let me answer this" and she answered her phone. It was of course Konata. "Oh no" groaned Kagami "If it's Konata, I am going to smack her face"

"Hey Kona-Chan" said Tsukasa to Konata.

"Tsukasa!" said Konata "Is Kagami in the room? I would like to apologize to her for being rude to her earlier. Tsukasa was surprised "Say what?" she asked "I did not quite hear you" Konata repeated herself and then Tsukasa replied. "Ah, didn't thin you would normally want to apologize to her, but...ok" She then called for Kagami. "I hope this is not a prank" grunted Kagami as she grabbed the phone. "Hello Kona-chan?" she said

"1...2...3..." said Misao's Brother and the they all got ready but then Miyuki came in just as they were about to start "Hi" she said. "Oh hi Miyuki-San" said Konata "Come over quick"

"What are you doing Konata?" asked Kagami suspiciously "Don't tell me you're up to something"

"Ah" replied Konata "I was just going to apologize when Miyuki-San walked in" While Konata was blurting out her excuses to Kagami, Misao's brother told Miyuki what to do. "Okay" she said "I am ready"

"COME ON!" said Kagami "Apologize!"

"1...2...3..." counted Misao's brother and they all yelled out "WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!" and then they all laughed. Konata's phone was on loudspeaker so that they could hear Kagami's angry response to ensue. Kagami was infuriated. She exploded.

"I AM GOING TO SELLOTAPE YOUR ARSEHOLES SHUT!" she yelled down the phone and ranted on at them until Konata rudely hung up on Kagami. She chortled as Kagami threw Tsukasa's phone on the ground in a huff. "Onee Chan!" squealed Tsukasa "You nearly broke my phone!" but Kagami was to cross to care "WHO GIVES A FUCK?!" she yelled from upstairs.

Miyuki laughed at it all. She explained her earlier encounter with Kagami. She was clearly smirking at it all. "Well..." she giggled out impertinently "I told her that No one could stop the Metal! And if she not heard of Tenacious D...then..." Misao started playing the riff of 'The Metal' as Miyuki spoke. "It is true, You can't kill the metal, the metal will live on!" And then Konata and Miyuki did a duet of the song. This time, Konata had no hallucinations as they both spoke Jack Black's words of wisdom.

_Authors' notes:_

_I listened to Manowar Die For Metal while doing the hallucination sections._

_I don't understand why everyone hates Patricia Martin, in my opinion, she is hot, but not as hot as Miyuki, my favourite Lucky Star, don't blame me._

_In Konata's hallucination, Misao was playing a left handed Gibson Firebird with full sized EMG 81 humbuckers, Misao must of found a way to make the humbucker pools bigger and made room for a battery compartment. I am not sure of Yutaka's base, methinks it was an ESP bass of some sort._

_You can't kill the metal, the metal will live on -Tenacious D_

_When Konata says she 'Don't know 'owt 'bout Guitars' she is speaking in a mock Northern accent. The word 'owt is common in Northern England, especially Yorkshire where I am from, that means anything. 'nowt on the other hand means nothing._


	6. Chapter 6

While Misao's brother had given the other girls in the garden something to eat and Misao was having her dinner with her family, she began to think. "Kebabs" she said to herself "Remove Kebab from Premises" and she gave a little chuckle at it. "What's so funny Misao?" asked her father. "Nothing Dad" replied Misao "I can't even remember what it was I was laughing about" But really, she did not want to share what she was chuckling about. "How are your friends in the garden" asked Misao's mum. "Heh" replied Misao "They're fine, they are enjoying the noodles I guess" But Misao was thinking of putting on her brother's army dress and beret so she could redress as Dat Face Soldier who was playing the accordion. Only Misao would have a guitar with her.

When she had finished and was excused from the table, she went out and said. "Wait here guys, I have something new coming" and she rushed upstairs. "Misakichi seems to be rushing around well despite her sore leg" muttered Konata "I wonder what her new attire will be?" "Will it be Spiderman?" asked Patricia. "I doubt it" replied Minami "I don't think she's in to Marvel Super Heros." "Well that probably of made you Iron Man!" laughed Tsuraya and Kimdori "Because, I think we should probably think what Marvel Super Hero we are, like, Konata as Iron Man, Misao as Spiderman and Patty as Captain America!" Patricia gleamed "I always wanted to be Captain America!" Tsuraya laughed. Yutaka was not quite sure what she would pick, and Miyuki "Um, I don't know" she said. Miyuki had decided to stay over after the very funny prank they played on Kagami.

Meanwhile Misao was sneakily putting on her brother's soldier dress, though it was too big for her, it would have to do. She put on the beret and looked in the mirror. "Remove Kebab from Premesis" she said in a gravely voice, and she said in Serbian "Bog je Srbin, I on će nas čuvati/Бог је Србин, И он ће нас чувати!" and then she put on a face that looked similar to the Solider playing the accordion in the video. She picked her Fender Jazzmaster and put the amplifier in the pocket. Then she tinkled Remove Kebab on it and then Turned on the amplifier and then with the face on, she walked downstairs playing the riff.

"Hey" said Yutaka "I hear her guitar" Konata listened "That sounds like Remove Kebab" she said. "Remove What?!" exclaimed Kimdori. Miyuki explained "It's from YouTube from the song Serbia Strong that was done during the Yugoslav Wars from 1991-1996. There is 3 Serb soldiers in the video playing a trumpet, accordion and keyboard, and singing that Karadžić would lead them to victory against Croatian Fascists and Turks, the term Remove Kebab comes from the rivalry with the Muslims, like the Turks, Bosnians and Albanians, pretty much as Serbia was part of the Ottoman Empire for many years until the Balkan wars."

Then Misao emerged from the door in true Balkan Soldier attire and playing Remove Kebab with the face of the Soldier playing the accordion. With the Beret on her hat and her brother's Soldier dress, that was too big for her, she looked like a true Yugoslav Soldier. She stopped playing her guitar and said "Bog je Srbin, I on će nas čuvati/Бог је Србин, И он ће нас чувати!" and the other girls looked at her. Miyuki said "Have you also seen Džamije Lete?" Misao looked at Miyuki. "It's another Yugoslav war Classic" said Miyuki with a smile on her face "I've listened to it and it's just another song to get the kebabs outta here!" Misao smiled "YES!" she chirped "Remove Kebab in the premesis" and then she put the face back on.

"We need to Remove all the Kebabs here!" said Patricia "Serbia is Strong!" Everyone else laughed. Kimdori looked a bit baffled at it all because she had not heard of Remove Kebab or any songs from the Yugoslav wars. "Okay" she said "If we gotta remove Kebabs here, then lets go!"

"REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMESIS!" laughed all the girls in Unison. "REMOVE THE USTAŠE! REMOVE THE TURKS! KOSOVO IS..." Patricia, Konata, Miyuki and Tsuraya said Independent while Misao, Minami and Yutaka said Serbia. Misao put the soldier face again, just as her brother came outside.

"Onee Chan?!" he said in surprise "What are you doing with my army costume? It does not fit you anyway" Misao turned around with the Soldier face. She said ""Bog je Srbin, I on će nas čuvati/Бог је Србин, И он ће нас чувати!" Misao's brother was stunned. "Onii Chan" said Misao "Serbia Strong, Remove Kebab from Premises" and then she began to play Remove Kebab on her guitar again. Misao's brother nearly fainted in surprise. "You look better cosplaying as Meiko" he said. But Misao kept on with her Soldier attire. "REMOVE KEBAB!" yelled Konata. Misao's brother got the gist of it and ran upstairs. Misao turned around still playing Remove Kebab and with her Soldier face on.

Miyuki looked on her iPad, surely there was more information she could gain to tell the others. Then it came. The accordion player was called Novislav Đajić/Новислав Ђајић. He had been arrested and charged of 14 murders and 1 murder attempt and sentenced to 5 years imprisonment. "Misao?" she said and Misao stopped playing to look at Miyuki "What is it?"

"The person who you are imitating is Novislav Đajić/Новислав Ђајић. He is of course the accordion player in Remove Kebab, but, he was arrested and charged for 14 murders and 1 murder attempt in 1997, and he served 5 years in prison. He has indeed removed Kebab, by being a Muslim killer and an accordion player" said Miyuki with her brain always full of information.

"Whoa!" said Misao "That is some real shit, he were not fucking around! He did not get is accordion when in prison, eh?" "I doubt it" replied Konata "But that were somewhat true" "I always thought his name was Removislav Kebabović!" laughed Patricia. "GOOD ONE!" laughed Tsuraya. "I'll never look at Remove Kebab quite the same" muttered Misao but then she laughed. "He did not commit genocide with his accordion?!" then she laughed hard.

Misao's Mum came out. "Well, I think it's time you head off home" she said to the girls "But you can come again tomorrow"

"Ah well" sighed Misao "We can have more fun tomorrow" "But I'll have to go back" said Kimdori "Haruhi will be wanting me" The girls left, but Kimdori bid a goodbye to Misao and Tsuraya. Misao went back inside ready for an even of relaxing and put her headphones in the mini amplifier and played Remove Kebab, still in her brother's army costume, until she had to put her pyjamas on.

_Author's notes:_

_The Dat Face Soldier in Remove Kebab is actually Novislav Đajić or Novislav Djajic, he was arrested in 1997 for Genocide Charges of 14 murders and 1 attempted murder. He served 5 years in prison and nothing more has been said about his whereabouts, he may be alive or may be dead._

_The Words 'Bog je Srbin, I on će nas čuvati/Бог је Србин, И он ће нас чувати!' means 'God is a Serb and he will protect us' It appears at the beginning of the Serbia Strong video._

_Remove Kebab is a term that means ethnic cleansing of Muslims, especially Bosnian Muslims._

_I also have learned the Remove Kebab tune for my Guitar and Keyboard, and Serbia Strong for my keyboard as well_


End file.
